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almostfallen
almostfallen

Siblings

Saturated

In the collective gene pool

Tears ooze to the deep end

Bit by bit shifting into a toxic cesspit  

So in dire need of assessment

My siblings

Time is running out

Hope

Commence to fade

Are we stuck between?

Different hemispheres

Of our brains in use

Or opposing personalities?

Trivialities spun in webs

Creating perceptions and memories

Out of sifted data

We get caught up in

Resentment

Trepidation

Suspiciousness

Expectation

Rigid Conditions we then set

Cause

And

Effect?

Condemnatory conclusions

Based upon

Multiple

Sibling fallacy

When will there be the time to be?

Just

Us

19:14 - 25/5/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

2007 hypothetically consecrated week

Liturgy

Absurdities

Swell

Amidst

Holier-than-thou

Orthodoxy

Solemn Correct Bellies full

Halva and olives

 

 

‘Holy’ Monday                                 

Blinks

Blue and gold trumpets

Blast

Avoid                         

Much ado

About                        

Mystical

Fantasy

 

‘Holy’ Tuesday

Struggling

Foolish           

Am I not?

Rebellious

Chocolate

Relishing

 

‘Holy’ Wednesday

Are thou for real?

Oil me away

Haughty tresses

Whiff of myrrh

Despair

Seclusion

Of

Your void

 

Holy Thursday

It would be foolish to

Lay

Crimson hands

Upon

My

Spawn

Wrath

I unleash

Upon thee

Oh Ye!

For slay

I will

 

 

 

Holy Friday

Got me

Purple

Enrobed

Flocks

Scorn

Mock

Spit

Vinegary

No worries

Down 5

2 to go

12:39 - 13/4/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Heaven is on earth!

 

 

 

The breasts are they so beautiful

Cuz

Male eyes

Caress them?

Oh, oh, oh!

She likes the act

The actual

Deed

No need to work her up

No, no, no

Sweat

To make her ready

Swollen

Drenched

Firing with lust

 

Is she a lose

Bitch?

Yez…

Yez she must be!

 

She wants to be filled

In

And

Out

Leisurely

Yielding

Tough

In

High-speed

To get

Essential

The factual

Single

Flawless

Moment

Of

Indulging

Heaven

Right

Here

Right

Now

 

painting: Philipe Mandy

music to listen to: Heim (four tet remix)Pole

 

15:51 - 28/3/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Rosa

Your

Words

Whiz

In a

Deedless

Miasma

 

“I have a kid

And no time”

You state

“I have

2 donkeys

And space”

I counter

 

On planet Rosa

You dwell

Mysterious

Enchanting

Spiritual

 

Me

Cold

Gyrating

In the same

Gene pool

with you

 

 

music to listen to: Amon Tobin - verbal

15:13 - 27/3/2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Acceptance

 

Get a grip

Think

Logic

My energy warps

When it comes to you

 

There is no higher power

Oh finally

an erudite being

Through a sigh
out of you

You knew

I knew

 

Wanna think daily

Leapin from moment

To moment

Surviving

No meaning

Behind

 

How could my soul

Ache?

Identify

Souls have no accuracy

A definite

Airy-fairy

Not even an

Artifact

Fabricated

By men

to make

All

Mysterious

complicated

Get through

Your life

 

Wanna think daily

Leapin from moment

To moment

Stop struggling

Seal me

Silence me

Living crucial

Be good

To the beginning

Of my womb

And being

 

Escalating

Tunes

thump so deep

And where is that

irrationally?

 

Wanna think daily

Leapin from moment

To moment

How could my heart cry?

A heart?

Is in existence

An internal organ

Pumping

To survive

 

painting: grill by philipe mandy

music to listen to: Sigur Ros - Gong

17:35 - 7/3/2007 - comments {1} - post comment

flies..........

When I lower my jeans and panties and sit down to do my business, I hear it, buzzing coming nearer, shit, why? A humongous fat fly is flying straight at me, I duck to avoid it but it’s not so easy with jeans and panties round yr ankles.

 

O I hate flies in all sorts and sizes, really tell me -what-the-*f*-is-their--use-here-on-earth?!

Sure, I know all about their help in the eco-system, I had biology and I do watch from time to time forensic detectives…LOL. Did you know by the way, they can tell by the sort of fly or maggot on a dead body when the person died?, and quite accurate I might add. So yes, ok they have a use, but do they have to do it in such a disgusting way? They are shitting on us man, eating us alive, laying their eggs in our food, buzzing around our faces like there’s no tomorrow!

 

I don’t get easily scared by critters and creepy crawlies; I do always try to save a spider in my house, while breaking theirs down, i must admit. But flies man, they give me the creeps!

 

I think I know where this fly-phobia comes from; I must have been 13 years of age, we used to bike about 7 kilometers to high-school, most of this journey through countryside. Well this particular day I remember was a late summers day, we were biking towards home, me and my mates, round 4.30 in the afternoon, it was unbearably hot, we were wearing our sweatshirts round our waists, hot and sticky from biking.

 

There was a near surreal aura hanging around. You know the kind; where the sky is uncannily weird of presence and there’s hardly any place left in yr head for the overabundance offer of smells and colors. I remember that much… The beautiful lush trees and flowers with their sweet heady smell, mingled with the pungent odor of cow’s dung from a meadow nearby. We were in a euphoric mode, like a -happy-going-home-Friday-afternoon- kinda thingie.

That part I still ponder on, it’s like when you are watching a thriller, at this stage you know something bad is going to happen, it all too sweet and happy.

 

Little did I know…

We were so jolly, a group of teenagers swaying on their bikes, laughing chatting, trying most of the time to avoid crashing into each others wheels.

And me? I was singing of course, boring my friends with a daily ritual; I’m -going-to-be-a-singer-one-day- I was singing on top of my voice, I loved singing on my bike, there are people who like to sing in the shower but no, not me, come rain come hailstorms, didn’t matter I would sing on me bike!

 

Right in the middle of a rare high (for me that is) note, I see this huge fly coming towards me, somehow knowing what was about to happen, I make a futile attempt to shut my mouth before it would fly in, nevertheless I was too late, the fly flew with high speed straight into my mouth and got stuck at the back of my throat, I must have made a weird noise cause I can still see the face of one friend looking bewildered at me.

 

 

I crashed my bike into his, and his into the others, we came down hard, seemed like twilight zone, hearing them swear in the background and me havin' this fly in the back of my throat buzzing madly, felt like my brains were splitting of the noise….Meanwhile the others try to comprehend ‘what the *f* has happened just now?’. I make an effort to get on my feet, in which I don’t succeed. On all fours I start spitting and coughing simultaneously, choking cause the fat bastard was blocking my airways. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, until one of them realizes -something’s-wrong-with-her- and starts bashing me on my back at which the fly rockets out of my throat.

 

At that point there was a silence; I’m trying to compose myself, looking up at my friends, I see them staring in utter befuddlement at this huge fly on the ground buzzing and rotating at high speed, mingled with spitt and all...then they look at me and burst out in shattering laughs, falling about on the floor holding their bellies, I try to say something to save face but it’s no use and I start laughing too, although sorely.

 

*Unnecessary* to say that I was topic of conversation in high school for a long time…..

And ditto that I never sang on my bike again to the utmost satisfaction of my mates.

 

So you see now what I mean when I say I hate flies?

 

Well there he is *the huge bugger* in the bathroom with me, buzzing around my ears, coming dangerously near my face, I shake my head a few times and flay my arms senselessly around. It won’t be chased away.

I feel like screaming but am not game opening my mouth, for god sakes how much more pee do I have? An endless stream and I can’t keep it in cause it doesn’t work that way with women, or is it just me?

 

Finally I’m finished, I pull up my panties and jeans in a whiz, and flee from the bathroom, only to charge back in again armed with insect killer spray and a fly squatter, I’m really enjoying this now (there is a murderer in me yet) I give it an overdose of spray holding my breath meanwhile and slap it with my squatter to an other world ha!

music to listen to: no more mosquitoes - boom bip remix

17:38 - 4/12/2006 - comments {0} - post comment

for a fleeting second....


 

“Time f**king flies” is what he said to me,

4 years we had not spoken, never seemed that long…

Never far from my thoughts.

He told me he got older,

And of course so did i…

 

I don’t think he ever realized what an mind blowing impact he’d made on me then, or what I’ve learned from him, showering me with his divers talents, sharing his unending knowledge about so much of everything.

 

He took me for a ride on the rollercoaster of his being, just for a fleeting second, to heights, I could have then only dream of. He has inspired me immensely, and I grabbed every enjoying nanosecond of it. And it did change my life!

 

You know when they say you can meet angels right here on earth, and how you will never be the same after that, well that summons it I gather, I believe he was send to me, so I could borrow him for a while….that second. Not that he is perfect, pffffff……. far from it, he is an ironic arrogant sod sometimes, a wise-nose, and most of the time sooooo impatient, but throughout these flaws his talents shined so brightly, that all the rest was insignificant.

 

There was a time that I could not go for a day without his music, yep he also makes music. and although he considered me a *……..*, i *do* know what good music is. In fact listening to his music inspires me in jewelry making.

 

He opened my heart to myself and I dared for the first time to acknowledge my own talents, and live my life the way I wanted it to.

If asked, he’ll tell you he did no such thing or that I’m exaggerating.

I’ve praised him on some of his talents, in the past, which always made him uncomfortable, and the thing is, he *is* quite unaware of what a beautiful person he is, or how much he has to give.

 

There is a song: my angel Gabriel – lamb,

“I can fly

but I want his wings

I can shine even in the darkness

but I crave the light that he brings

revel in the songs that he sings

My angel Gabriel”

 

I used to need his wings, but I can fly on my own now, I  still get inspired by his music, and play it nearly daily.

 

 

I wish him love; the kind he needs.

 

I wish for him that although he has gone off on a different course in life, (and yes he is successful there too) he will not forget his music or lose his *belief* that it will lift off one day.

 

I wish him kids, at least 3, he will be an interesting father.

 

And although true happiness does not exist,

I do wish him tons of happy moments!

 

So, you *better* be out there, getting what is yours…

*if*not, then go already!

 

 

Note: I had a friend, who decided a year ago, life was not for him, I never told him what he had meant to me, I regret that.

19:46 - 12/10/2006 - comments {0} - post comment

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